My husband is groovy...

I've said this before so you've probably already heard it but I was not one to dream about marriage and children when I was growing up. It wasn't until I met Kevin that I wanted a husband, and it wasn't until we were together that I even considered having a child.

What I've confirmed now with Kevin, having watched him over the last eight weeks, is how crucial complete faith in your partner is especially once you have a kid.

It's one thing if you and your spouse don't see eye to eye on what movie to see or how to spend your Christmas bonus...but when you raise a child, you darn better be air-tight with how your spouse is going to parent because there is nothing you can REALLY do to change their instincts or non-negotiables. You can go back and forth about better ways to do a few things but at the heart of it all, you will only have a strong marriage if you completely trust that your partner is going to do it right, even if their way isn't what was initially your way. (I imagine this is key in what makes divorce hard on families is that you have to co-parent with someone you no longer believe in...I can barely imagine leaving Kellan with a babysitter much less someone I had daggers for.)

I have lucked out in the husband-and-father-of-my-child arena. I believe in and support everything Kevin wants for Kellan. It melts me to watch him come up with his own ways of getting a crying baby to calm down, I appreciate the perspective he has on where we will send Kellan to school one day or how deeply important it is to Kevin to have the baby baptised (and I'm not Catholic!)

I don't mean to say that there is not room in a marriage for discussion on fundamental topics. It comes up in our marriage all the time; we talk about our different religious beliefs and how we will share "faith" with our son...we acknowledge that we both grew up in very different family structures and how will this translate to lessons we pass on to Kellan?...but it is these differences between Kevin and I that make me feel so confident in what Kellan will be exposed to. This only works though if you adore the key things that make your spouse different from you...because every piece of your spouse is going to be part of your child's life. And in the spirit of wanting the best for my child, I'm not surprised that Kevin was the partner I chose.