In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms

So last Friday I officially resigned from my job. My bosses were very supportive and understood that right now, it's the most important thing for our family that I stay at home with Kellan. While I won't be going to the office everyday anymore, they asked me to stay on as a consultant on contract as my schedule with Kellan permits. I feel incredibly lucky to have the best of both worlds...being a stay at home mom while also being connected to my career.

Kevin and I have been talking about this opportunity for months. I remember when I was pregnant, I googled "3-month-old infant" to get an idea of what Kellan would look like at 3 months, when my maternity leave would be over and I'd potentially have to hand him over to day care or a nanny. Needless to say, babies at 3 months aren't walking or talking. They aren't much different than when they first came out! It killed me to imagine sending someone so young to be taken care of by someone other than me, the MOMMY!

My generation has been taught to "do it all." Career, kids, overtime and juggling, childbearing and bread-winning...if you can't do it all, you aren't "successful." I feel for the moms out there who send their kids off in the morning, work all day and then pick their brood up in the evenings just in time for dinner and a bedtime story. I just can't do it. My heart can't take it.

I want to be with my son all day. Every day. I want to be there for all the learning curves and first discoveries, laughs and tears, naps and coos.

Kevin and I read this great book called, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms." It's a pretty conservative view on the subject of motherhood and it really spoke to me. I had heard the other side of the argument of "getting back to work" my whole adult life and I was really looking for another perspective on the pros and cons of actually leaving work to stay at home with our son. For me, one of the best parts in the book talks about the one side of "mommy-caretaking" versus the other side of "nanny/day-caretaking". One line made it very clear to me: "do you really really really REALLY think someone else is going to do it better than you?" The answer, in Kellan's case, is no. No one is going to be a better caretaker to him than me. The magnitude of my job of being his mom cannot be realized by someone else. And if my mom tasks were done by someone else, he'd know the difference.

By adult standards, there are a lot of mom duties that seem like they don't mean much, that seem like someone else can do them easy...but it's these small things that are BIG THINGS to my kid. His happiness and security are all wrapped up in things I get to do with him everyday.

I realize too that not everyone can do this. Kevin and I had to make some sacrifices in losing my salary, but we're still very fortunate to be able to pull this off. I know there are a lot of women out there who would love to "just" be a mom :) Funny enough, for us the sacrifices really just made us put more stock in family time.

I wish there were more support out there, more encouragement for all us American gals as we grow up and become mommies that our job as such is so incredibly important. It is the one career we can truly be THE best at and that reaps the most rewards.

I am thankful to all the moms out there that were honest with me as they went back to work at the end of their maternity leave. Just about every woman I have talked to has said, "if I could have stayed at home with my child, I would." It's the greatest piece of advice I've ever taken.