Happy Halloween!

3 months...

Today is Kellan's 3 month birthday. I had him sitting near me in the bouncer while I took a shower this morning and told him that he was sitting right where Mommy's water broke exactly 3 months ago, and he looked up at me and smiled...it's true that it does go by really fast. I remember trying to coax a smile out of him before he could do it and now he gives me ear-to-ear grins throughout the day.

He just got over his first cold this week. He even smiled all the way through that. I love love love this kid.

My Posse

Here is Sammie Feuer and Owen Damko, my best buds.

Just cuteness

Kellan's First Swim

1 Year Anniversary

Our first wedded anniversary was on Sunday and we celebrated by taking Kellan with us to the Royal Palms for a night. It was so much fun...dinner was great (thanks to Grandma Jeannette for babysitting) and Kellan went swimming for the first time!

11 weeks and I need some eyebrows!

Kellan's hair and eyebrows haven't quite grown in yet so sometimes when he is really curious, his forehead crinkle is his only emotional giveaway. It cracks me up.

I love you Kellan Jon.

Hippos are hip!

Kellan loves his hippo chair...we practiced sitting last week. Actually, LEANING would be a more accurate assessment.

In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms

So last Friday I officially resigned from my job. My bosses were very supportive and understood that right now, it's the most important thing for our family that I stay at home with Kellan. While I won't be going to the office everyday anymore, they asked me to stay on as a consultant on contract as my schedule with Kellan permits. I feel incredibly lucky to have the best of both worlds...being a stay at home mom while also being connected to my career.

Kevin and I have been talking about this opportunity for months. I remember when I was pregnant, I googled "3-month-old infant" to get an idea of what Kellan would look like at 3 months, when my maternity leave would be over and I'd potentially have to hand him over to day care or a nanny. Needless to say, babies at 3 months aren't walking or talking. They aren't much different than when they first came out! It killed me to imagine sending someone so young to be taken care of by someone other than me, the MOMMY!

My generation has been taught to "do it all." Career, kids, overtime and juggling, childbearing and bread-winning...if you can't do it all, you aren't "successful." I feel for the moms out there who send their kids off in the morning, work all day and then pick their brood up in the evenings just in time for dinner and a bedtime story. I just can't do it. My heart can't take it.

I want to be with my son all day. Every day. I want to be there for all the learning curves and first discoveries, laughs and tears, naps and coos.

Kevin and I read this great book called, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms." It's a pretty conservative view on the subject of motherhood and it really spoke to me. I had heard the other side of the argument of "getting back to work" my whole adult life and I was really looking for another perspective on the pros and cons of actually leaving work to stay at home with our son. For me, one of the best parts in the book talks about the one side of "mommy-caretaking" versus the other side of "nanny/day-caretaking". One line made it very clear to me: "do you really really really REALLY think someone else is going to do it better than you?" The answer, in Kellan's case, is no. No one is going to be a better caretaker to him than me. The magnitude of my job of being his mom cannot be realized by someone else. And if my mom tasks were done by someone else, he'd know the difference.

By adult standards, there are a lot of mom duties that seem like they don't mean much, that seem like someone else can do them easy...but it's these small things that are BIG THINGS to my kid. His happiness and security are all wrapped up in things I get to do with him everyday.

I realize too that not everyone can do this. Kevin and I had to make some sacrifices in losing my salary, but we're still very fortunate to be able to pull this off. I know there are a lot of women out there who would love to "just" be a mom :) Funny enough, for us the sacrifices really just made us put more stock in family time.

I wish there were more support out there, more encouragement for all us American gals as we grow up and become mommies that our job as such is so incredibly important. It is the one career we can truly be THE best at and that reaps the most rewards.

I am thankful to all the moms out there that were honest with me as they went back to work at the end of their maternity leave. Just about every woman I have talked to has said, "if I could have stayed at home with my child, I would." It's the greatest piece of advice I've ever taken.

A Moose in Kellan's room

My mother actually got me to go to IKEA today and I picked up this wall hook thing-a-ma-jig for Kellan's room. It's a wire moose and you can hang stuff from his antlers and legs. It's bigger than you'd think...it just fits in my trunk.

Poop happens...in church!

So Kellan and I went with Kevin to church yesterday evening for mass. Kevin recently became a Eucharistic minister so when Kellan and I go in the cry room, we have to separate from Kevin because he has his duties up at the altar.

Well, yesterday Kellan got fussy and I went to nurse him in the cry room. There were a bunch of kids in there who were all fascinated with Kellan and stared at him over the backs of their pews or tiptoed closer to sneak a peak. Very cute....except one of them was VERY SMELLY...like poop-your-pants smelly and I could not figure out which kid it was.

(it was mine)

Kellan had pooped while I was nursing him and it had shot out the side of his diaper all over my dress.

And I had left the diaper bag with Kevin.

And Kevin was nowhere near us.

I had a nursing drapecloth coverup, one small cloth diaper and a thin Muslin blankie. I sat Kellan up on my lap and covered both of us with the blankie. Everyone was quietly praying and I thought "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???" There was poop everywhere...on Kellan, down my dress, on the bow tying my dress around my waist...and it was getting stinkier and stinkier.

I tried praying for Kevin to turn around in his seat and look for us. At the sign of peace, he turned to shake a gentleman's hand and caught my eye. I mouthed, "I need you!"
He came into the cry room with the diaper bag and said, "I have to go do the Eucharist!," to which I responded, "HE POOPED ON ME!"

Kevin disappeared into the church and I waited for everyone in the cry room to leave and get communion. Then I bolted out the side door. I had Kellan slung over my arm and with the other hand was clinging to every bit of loose cloth I could to cover my dress. We ran around to the front of the church where I thought no one would be. We opened the doors to the lobby and of course, a couple dozen people lining the walls all look up to Kellan and I standing in the doorway covered in doo-doo.

I ran us to the bathroom where I put the skirt of my dress in the sink and peeled Kellan's clothes off...women came in and out eyeing us like we were crazy but I just kept saying, "you never know with kids..." It took me the rest of mass to get us decent enough to leave the bathroom. We found Kevin by the car and came home whereupon Kellan and I both had to take a bath!

I am not one to get embarrassed easily but this was definitely a test, I tell ya. I'd say be barely passed!

2 month stats

Kellan had his 2 month (9 week) checkup on Thursday and he is in the 75th percentile! This is up from 50th percentile at 2 weeks old...he's even above average in height (this gene obviously skipped mom and dad :)

His weight is 12 lbs. 12 oz.
Length: 23-3/4 inches
Head circumference is 16 inches

BIG BOY!

Conversations with a ceiling fan...

The last few days, Kellan has learned how to coo on command. He can now decidedly talk when he wants to and at 5am this morning, I woke in the dark to him having a long-winded discussion with the ceiling fan. This discussion lasted until 6am at which point the cuteness was overwhelming and I had to turn on the light and take some pictures.

wall hooks

I've been looking for sassy wall hooks for Kellan's room and came across these on Grass Roots Modern. I'm going to COVER his wall in these. (hooks by Curiosite)

My husband is groovy...

I've said this before so you've probably already heard it but I was not one to dream about marriage and children when I was growing up. It wasn't until I met Kevin that I wanted a husband, and it wasn't until we were together that I even considered having a child.

What I've confirmed now with Kevin, having watched him over the last eight weeks, is how crucial complete faith in your partner is especially once you have a kid.

It's one thing if you and your spouse don't see eye to eye on what movie to see or how to spend your Christmas bonus...but when you raise a child, you darn better be air-tight with how your spouse is going to parent because there is nothing you can REALLY do to change their instincts or non-negotiables. You can go back and forth about better ways to do a few things but at the heart of it all, you will only have a strong marriage if you completely trust that your partner is going to do it right, even if their way isn't what was initially your way. (I imagine this is key in what makes divorce hard on families is that you have to co-parent with someone you no longer believe in...I can barely imagine leaving Kellan with a babysitter much less someone I had daggers for.)

I have lucked out in the husband-and-father-of-my-child arena. I believe in and support everything Kevin wants for Kellan. It melts me to watch him come up with his own ways of getting a crying baby to calm down, I appreciate the perspective he has on where we will send Kellan to school one day or how deeply important it is to Kevin to have the baby baptised (and I'm not Catholic!)

I don't mean to say that there is not room in a marriage for discussion on fundamental topics. It comes up in our marriage all the time; we talk about our different religious beliefs and how we will share "faith" with our son...we acknowledge that we both grew up in very different family structures and how will this translate to lessons we pass on to Kellan?...but it is these differences between Kevin and I that make me feel so confident in what Kellan will be exposed to. This only works though if you adore the key things that make your spouse different from you...because every piece of your spouse is going to be part of your child's life. And in the spirit of wanting the best for my child, I'm not surprised that Kevin was the partner I chose.

(gush)

This is what I wake up to every morning...life is good.

Boys Rule!

Eric & Owen, Kevin & Kellan at Arcadia Farms brunch on Labor Day (LOVE how Kellan is looking at the Damko boys like "y'all are BIG!")...and we can't forget about the mamas! (Owen was studying Kellan like, "boy, you're TINY!")

8 weeks...

Here is Kellan's 8 week portrait. I love that I get to be this kid's mom. He recently discovered his feet and can spend an entire half hour watching them as he kicks them back and forth. He takes absolutely nothing for granted. The other day he caught sight of his finger and moved it slowly to his face until he poked himself in the eye. I laughed, he cried.

Shout out to Michigan!

Will (Power)

Last night we had the Gnirk family over to meet Kellan and their not-even-2-year-old Will is awesome! It was so fun to see what we can expect with Kellan when he gets that big. Will has so many words and can tell you what he wants, what color things are, can draw a circle...it's adorable. He crawled up into my lap at dinner and reached up to me for a pick up (melts your heart). He's also incredibly mobile which left Kevin and I whispering in bed last night as we fell asleep about all the kid proofing we need to do around here. It's so fun to have a network of friends with kids. We capped off the evening with Will playing with the hose and a much needed bath after he got covered in mud!